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  • Writer's pictureRobert P. Fitton

The Maestro Murdered in his Beloved Conservatory: Matthias Jones Series

Updated: Oct 1, 2023

Funeral March for the Maestro

Funeral March for the Maestro

TOM McGILL: “Bucky I’d like a few words with you about the murder at the Conservatory.”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “As far as I’m concerned as a Class A Certified Security Expert Lark Larsen, the big dummy is guilty as the day is long.

TOM McGILL:McGill from the Enterprise. How do you know this Driscoll?


TOM McGILL:Did you see Larsen kill Professor Neusbaum?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: ” Oh, I didn’t have to. I was on duty at Hamilton College. I saw the Big Dummy pull into the Conservatory. Shots were fired.”

TOM McGILL: “You’re saying that Lark Larsen was in proximity of the deceased and his movements synchronized with the chronological events?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “Yeah whatever you say.

TOM McGILL:And no one else was around the building.

TOM McGILL:And no one else was around the building.

The Conservatory

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “Sure lots of people.”

TOM McGILL:Then how the hell do you know it was Larsen who killed the Maestro?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “Well, Mayor Picata’s wife was peeking in the Conservatory windows. She’s built like a brick-“

TOM McGILL: “So she could have gotten in there?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “Maybe the old man was … ha-ha-ha– you know making whoopee with Mrs. Picata.”

TOM McGILL: “You don’t know that, Bucky.”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “I cordoned off the area but didn’t see the broad. Guess they wanted privacy. Ha-Ha-Ha-“

TOM McGILL: That’s not funny, Bucky.”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “I thought it was… Hey, what about the other guy who taught here.”

TOM McGILL: “Who’s that?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: ” He plays at Club Max. Mick Dumas… The Mick Dumas Trio.”

TOM McGILL: “Why would he kill Neusbaum?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “Bad blood Boogaloo…”

ARNIE DEWARS: “What about Steve Corbett? That guy with the head injury. He was right in the next building supposed to be shinin’ the floors!”

TOM McGILL: “Arnie, you’re not in this interview.”

ARNIE DEWARS: “What’s the matter? Afraid of the truth?”

TOM McGILL: ” Arnie, you wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you in the ass.”

TOM McGILL: “Testy, Tommy. Testy.”

GEORGE STRICKLAND: “I’d like a few words with you, Bucky. You had that whole area locked down. You may have allowed the killer to get out.”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: “I know my rights, Coppa.”

ARNIE DEWARS: “Georgie, you’re missin’ the obvious.”

GEORGE STRICKLAND: “What’s that, Arnie?”

Rex: the Maestro’s Dog

ARNIE DEWARS: “The dog. The dog was the only guy there. The dog shot the Maestro.”

GEORGE STRICKLAND: “Arnie do you know how dumb you are?”

BUCKY DRISCOLL:“ Yeah, Arnie, do ya?”

GEORGE STRICKLAND: “Perhaps I should call in Pinky Harris from the State Police.”

BUCKY DRISCOLL: ” I gutta go. Come on Arnie!”

ARNIE DEWARS: “I’m outta here!”

TOM McGILL: ” Who do you think did it, George?”

GEORGE STRICKLAND: In this town? If it wasn’t the dog it was one of Woozie Williams’ horses.”


Real-life Weirdo People Arrested For Crimes:

There once was a man who lived in Pennsylvania

A man with a strange mania

He wasn’t very difficult to please

For all he wanted sex mixed with Swiss cheese

Or the dude who thought life was such a bore

So, he would break into a department store

And it was all needles and pins

Until the dude- ran off with the mannequins

A British soliloquy will make you ask why

Victims would watch a man cunningly drive by

As he gripped his manure-filled sock

And let it fly to a resounding plop!

Worse- a not so honorable a man from Japan

Who wasn’t happy to use the proverbial can

As he roamed the countryside tourin’

When he pitched a full cup of urine

Another hero from the Island of Japan

Behind the steering wheel a sticky little man

Loaded with a gun that he fired in this craze

Globs and globs of soupy Mayonnaise

Now I don’t feel too bad about writing about the bizarre town of Hamilton New Hampshire. In Funeral March for the Maestro four suspects are investigated by Jones, who heard the shots inside the conservatory as he ran his baseball camp in the adjoining field. Each of these characters have defining characteristics and a proximity to the murdered Maestro.

Calling all weird killers? Calling all weird killers?

Ah here we go: ( From Katherine Ramsland, PhD in Psychology today.)

A guy who on the surface was charming— chose his victims by their VOICE! Because he missed his mother and wanted to take his mother’s voice with him-” Ah, as Johnny Carson used to say, “Well be right back.”

In the early 1930’s a guy caused accidents and death so he could pretend to be one of the victims and sue for damages. And he had an odd sexual component to his problem. Found guilty but escaped.

Several murders around Maryland where a Jazz guy blames his former housemate. He said the murders were an existential experience.

This investigation by Jones brings him into a maze of contradictions. But the part I like the most is the finale when Jones confronts the killer in a very dangerous situation.

Jones might be aware from working with his investigator father of the following:

People try to get rid of the evidence… In Funeral March for the Maestro the evidence is on display rather than hidden. Then the question is why kill the Maestro? Lark is upset because Neusbaum owed the cheap former coach money for the Steinway piano. Corbett is mentally compromised and has long standing grudges with his father-in-law. Dumas lost a position due to the Maestro’s bad recommendation. How about the classy Mrs. Picata, so close to Neusbaum with her association to the Prince William Symphony?

I will only tell you that justice comes swiftly for the murderer.


Robert P. Fitton

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